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ARTICLES

Handling The Challenges Of A Cross-cultural Relationship

We have heard it said so often that the world is becoming smaller. A natural implication is that people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds are coming closer to each other and getting more opportunity to mingle. In this scenario, cross-cultural relationships have become fairly common, and so have cross-cultural ’failed’ relationships. Such relationships bring their own challenges, and it is better if you are prepared to deal with them, before you marry or move in with your partner.

Be Prepared for Differences

This may sound fairly commonplace, but are you really aware of what all ’differences’ might entail? Maybe your partner has a different way of eating, different food preferences, different ideas of how the decor of your house should be, how the kitchen should be run or how your bedroom should look. Sometimes rituals and prayer methods might also come into the picture, not to mention festivals and celebrations. In order to be prepared to handle new and unfamiliar customs and habits, it is important that you and your partner talk about your different ways of living and what kind of adjustments will be required. If you are both prepared to help each other through, that is a perfect beginning to your cross-cultural marriage.

Accept Differences and Respect Boundaries

You not only need to be prepared to face your partner’s differences, but also accept them and blend them in with your lifestyle, if you want to maintain a successful cross-cultural relationship. For instance, if your partner eats her daily meals in a traditional way, seated on the floor, while you prefer a dining table, it is best if neither of you gets flustered and irritated. Try to hit a compromise, where you both take turns to make adjustments for the other person. Also, she may have what may seem to you odd ways to celebrate festivals. Try to participate, enjoy and learn. You won’t get a better opportunity to sample a different way of life. However, if you are uncomfortable participating in something, you need to be open with your partner and tell them that. Communication is an invaluable tool, and it is important that neither of you forces the other. Respect each other’s boundaries, and you will have much less occasion for grief.

Mutual Adjustment

If both of you are open and communicative, you may find that the best solution to some of the differences in your cross-cultural relationship is mutual adjustment. So, if you are French and your partner is Australian, your best bet may be a multi-cuisine kitchen, with ingredients and cooking styles to suit both your palettes. Adjustment may also be essential in the matter of space utilization. So, if your partner must have a prayer room, don’t argue with that. However, in this case personal outlooks matter just as much, or even more than, cultural upbringing.

Relocating

If your cross-cultural marriage necessitates that your partner relocate to your country, you will need to be especially sensitive, cooperative and supportive. Everything will be new for your partner, and they may have made a lot of sacrifices just to be with you. If it is you doing the relocating, make sure you are prepared for the change and comfortable with the idea. The worst thing you can do is make a hasty decision, spurred on by your love and attraction. You don’t want to end up regretting your cross-cultural relationship and grudging your partner.

Getting Back Together After A Break Up - 4 Important Tips To Get Your Ex-girlfriend Back

Getting Back Together After A Break Up may not seem to be an easy thing specially If you have just gone through a break up with your girlfriend and may still be struggling to come to terms with the reality of the situation. Emotionally you are disturbed, you still want her back in your life, and at the same time you are trying to learn how to go about your life without her. It can be overwhelming, and in this circumstance the most reasonable suggestion may also sound the most challenging to implement, maintain your dignity. Yes, you would want to do that at all times in your life, but now is when it is most important and the most difficult, if you really want getting back together after a break up with your ex-girlfriend. Of course, there is no guarantee that a dignified approach will get her back, but it is your best chance.

Control your Desperation

This is extremely important for getting back together after a breakup. If you choose just the moment in life she feels that she is through with you to tell her how desperately you want and need her back, she may begin to feel even more burdened, claustrophobic and emotionally harassed. You have to accept that right now your needs are not on top of her mind, and the more you express them, the more repulsed and irritated she might feel. Steer clear of this undignified outburst. Instead, use your strength to keep yourself composed when you contact her next. It shows that you respect her feelings, and she may just begin to feel favorably about you once again and even getting back together.

Stay in Touch...

...but don’t be too aggressive about it, getting back together after a breakup is a delicate task and deserves to be handled cautiously. An email every now and then and an occasional phone call is the right way to start. If you start bombarding her with communication from your end, you will once again be sending out the signal of desperation. Also, read her responses carefully, understand what she is trying to communicate. If you think that she is building a bond with you once again, allow her to take it at a pace she is comfortable with. You will need to be both perceptive and sensitive if you want getting back together after a breakup.

Psychological Tactics Produce no Winners

In your attempts of getting back together after a breakup, tactics like trying to deliberately cut her out of your life or attempting to make her jealous by showing just how chilled out you are about the whole episode, will, in all probability, escalate her feeling of revulsion into outright contempt and bitter hatred. If your girlfriend was with you because she respected who you are, chances are that some of that respect still exists. By stooping to undignified and cheap psychological tactics, you may be destroying that feeling once and for all, and with it any chance to getting back together after a breakup with your ex-girlfriend.

Envy, Jealousy and Anger

You may feel all of these, if you find out that your ex-girlfriend has begun dating again or showing an interest in other men. Admittedly, that is not a good sign for you, but if you react angrily to her, you will destroy whatever little chance you may have to getting back together after a breakup with your ex girlfriend. Remember, she is not your partner anymore and you have no say in her personal decisions.
If you can convey to your ex-girlfriend, subtly and gently, that you still care for her, and refrain from any of the undignified patterns of behavior mentioned above, you will certainly be giving yourself the best chance to getting back together after a breakup with your ex-girlfriend.

The Beginning Of Romantic Attraction Eye Contact

Everyone reacts differently to the prospect of making a favorable impression on someone they find attractive, and some people end up more nervous than others. However, while degrees may vary, nervousness itself is a common factor. After all, it is not easy to face judgment and the possibility of rejection by someone you already like and are eager to get to know better. You may well have spent hours thinking about how to make a great first impression.

There are so many things to think of: how you dress, your behavior and body language, how you carry yourself, how you start a conversation, what you talk about...the list doesn’t seem to end. It is really confusing, right? Apparently not, if recent research is to be believed. Body language experts claim that now there is science to back up the age-old phrase, ’it is all in the eyes.’ Evidence suggests that eye-contact is the most significant determinant of success or failure on that nerve-wracking first date.

The Key is in the Eyes

Some of you may be surprised to find that the subtle skill of your eyes is a more pressing factor on that first encounter than your personality, how you look and the way you make conversation. However, the good news is that with awareness of the right way to go about it, eye contact is a skill you can easily master. So, here are a few tips to help you get it right.

Establish a Bond

The first role of eye contact, especially when you are meeting a new person, is to establish a bond. Don’t be afraid to look into their eyes. A confident gaze will not only create a good first impression, it will also give a clear signal that you are interested in the person. However, remember not to stare outright for too long. You don’t want to end up making the other person feel that you are invading their privacy. Short and frequent glances should be the way to go at this stage. If you feel that your looks are being reciprocated, it is a signal that the interest is mutual, and now you can relax into a nice, friendly conversation.

Bring in the Longer Gaze

The role of eye-contact does not diminish in significance after that crucial first step. Once you have gotten to know each other a little bit, you have reason to be more free and confident about your eye contact. Maintain it for periods of 5-7 seconds, especially while you are listening to him/her talking. It will show your date that you are earnestly interested in what they are saying, and it will also give the person an opportunity to appreciate the attractiveness in your own eyes. Eye contact for 5-7 seconds may take a conscious effort though, because according to the experts the average time period for which most listeners will maintain eye contact is 3 seconds.

Enhance Your Eyes

With all this eye-contact going on, it is important to feel confident about how your own eyes look. Women can use the opportunity here to put their make-up skills to good use. Ladies, bear in mind though, that the idea is to enhance the natural look of your eyes and not distract the other person with glitter and dazzle. That might just be a turn-off. The ancient cosmetic Kohl, also known as Kajal in the Indian subcontinent, is an excellent product to use on such occasions.

How To Save Your Relationship - Simple Tips To Get The Spark Back In Your Relationship

If your girlfriend or wife has been irritable lately and you feel that your relationship is going stale, you might need to begin questioning the attitude you bring to this relationship. Or else, you may find that it is too late to save your relationship. The first thing you need to know is that little things make a big difference. One of those little things is how you treat your partner: have you been canceling outings with her? Do you get late, and sometimes don’t bother to inform her? Forgotten when you last complemented her or made her feel special? If you are guilty of a positive answer to any of these, perhaps you have been taking her for granted. Here are some things you can do to reform your behavior and get the spark back in your relationship.

She Wants to Feel Special...

...Always. No matter how long you have been together, it does not give you the license to stop appreciating her. Your partner would love to hear how much you love the things she does for you and how special she is to you. A few sweet words, provided they are meaningful and earnest, will go a long way in changing her outlook towards the relationship and ultimately saving the relationship.

Surprise Gifts

In trying to save your relationship, a surprise will always be appreciated greatly because it conveys to your partner that you actually think about her and care to make her feel special. It could be something small like getting her a little, unexpected gift or something more significant like surprising her with dinner at a nice restaurant. The idea is to catch her unprepared, and you will actually light up her day.

A New Place To Go To

You go out to your favorite haunts every other day or every weekend, but with her mood as low as it is, the monotony is probably already getting to her. Maybe she is thinking that you can’t be bothered to plan something new and interesting. Well, do just that. How about choosing a new place to hang out, or taking a day trip the next time you have a day off, or even spending your weekend out. A change of scene and a new and exciting activity that you both enjoy will create new memories and happy times, and it can work wonders to save your relationship.

Don’t Be Late!

It may seem like a small thing, but if it has become a pattern, you need to break it in a hurry. The last thing that a woman wants is to be kept waiting, and especially a woman who is anyway feeling that you have been taking her for granted. Just ten minutes could ruin your day...or make it, if you happen to be on time.
Eventually, whatever steps you choose to implement to get your girlfriend back or to save your relationship towards happier times, they need to be heartfelt. The worst thing you can do is plan something interesting for her, because you read it in a column. This is all about showing how much you love and respect her, and it can only work, if your feelings and motivation are genuine, it goes a long way to save your relationship.